Elizabeth Esther

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C-Section: The Cure For Baby Fever?

Img_4968"So which is better? C-section or natural delivery?" is the question I'm hearing.

My answer: C-section is tolerable. As long as you take the drugs.

Try to be a hero and skip the Percocet? You're in for a very nasty surprise.

Or just fall asleep and not wake up in time for your next dose and WOW! Can you say: fire down below?

This is what happened to me the first night home from the hospital. I fell into a deep sleep and the Percocet wore off. I woke up screaming. Matt was like: you're going to wake up the kids! And I was like: I'M GOING TO WAKE THE DEAD IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY DRUGS NOW!

At the hospital they don't tell you that Percocet is addictive. They just say: here, take this. And they send you home with a bottle full of the magical pills. A few days later you're staring at your remaining 3 Percocet and understanding how people become addicts after major surgery.

Because not only does the Percocet cover the pain, but there's this little buzz you get from it. You know it's a buzz when you start thinking things like: I know I just had a C-section, but I think I could remodel the bathroom this weekend!

And then your Percocet is gone and you thump down hard into reality. You find yourself staring down 16 poopy diapers, 14 dirty bottles, 14 burped-on bibs, 8 pooped-on receiving blankets and you realize it will be a good day if you can squeeze in a shower.

Oh, and that buzz? Gone. Phfft. You feel about as good as one of those poopy diapers.

The one bonus of a C-section is that you don't have a sore bottom. And you don't bleed as much. The post-delivery bowel movement is much gentler after a C-section than after a natural delivery. At least you're not swooning on the toilet convinced you're giving birth a second time.

In retrospect, I prefer natural delivery. That is, natural with an epidural. Not that I'm planning on giving birth again anytime soon. Frankly, I think this baby factory might need to close shop. This C-section has knocked me down good and hard. I don't ever want to get pregnant again.

"You said that last time," Matt reminds me.

He's right. After Jude I said "never again." And 4 years later? I was so baby starved I got twins!

Is there a cure for baby fever? C-section comes close. Except that when I look at my newborn twins all dressed up in their First Christmas outfits (see pic above) I think: hey, it wasn't that bad. In return for pain I got two priceless treasures. Not a bad trade, really. Not bad at all.

p.s. thanks for all the Christmas wishes! You guys rock. It was SO FUN to read all the different places! We even got one all the way from Tokyo, Japan (thanks, Jennifer P.!)  I have the best blogging friends!