Elizabeth Esther

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You've Got to Make Him REPRESS Himself

Proving yet again that men are not women, a new study concludes that people don't need to talk "in order to overcome collective trauma."According to lead researcher, Mark Seery, people who chose not to dwell ontheir painful experience "can cope quite successfully and...are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings."

"Matt! Matt! Look! You're not WEIRD!" I shouted, jabbing a finger at the news article. To which he sagaciously & pithily replied:

"Duh."

Clearly, my man doesn't need a scientific study to give him permission to be, uh, Male. To be honest, the study was about coping mechanisms, not gender differences.

But seriously, show me a man who isn't screaming "VINDICATION!" right now?  Oh, right. Only women do that.

I cringe when I hear wives whining about their husbands. He doesn't express his feelings, he doesn't understand hers. I've known wives who drag their husbands off to marital therapy only to "discover" that what makes their husbands happy is regular sex, hot meals and decently behaved children. Hot dang, ladies, I could have saved you thousands of dollars for that bit of wisdom.

My advice is simple. Save his manhood (and his wallet) by serving up pot roast with a side of hanky-panky. It's weird, though, because if I say this aloud, my friends look at me like I've betrayed the sacred purpose of Why We Women Play Bunco.

The study went on to show that everyone deals with trauma in different ways. Which is to say, if I needed therapy (which I have), my husband gladly pays for it. And when he says he needs to resurface our entire patio I don't say: wouldn't you rather talk about your work-related stress, instead? I simply stand back and watch as he takes a sand-blaster to the cement.

Hot stuff, that.

The point is, let your man be himself. If he needs talk therapy--by all means, honor that. But if he prefers sand-blasting---honor that, too. No matter what, pull back the covers and invite him in.

You may never need Bunco Night again.