I admit it. I like Dancing With The Stars. As a child I was told that dancing was sinful--it leads STRAIGHT to fornication!!!--so of course. I LOVE DANCING!

Yes, the costumes are skimpy. Yes, some of the dancing is provocative. But, hot dog! How can you not love Warren Sapp bustin' a move and winking away at the judges?

But three nights of DWTS was too much. I skipped the middle night and watched the highlights on the third. Some thoughts:

1. Kim Kardashian can't dance. Also, she can't speak intelligently. This doesn't matter. She's pretty and a "reality TV star." Is this the season DWTS becomes a popularity contest? Rats.

2. How long can the cantankerous, old lady shtick work for Cloris Leachman? My bet is one more week.

3. Is Warren Sapp the new Emmit Smith? Let's put it this way, I like him whole lots better than ex-N'Sync-er Lance Bass. Oh, baby, bye-bye-bye.

4. Brooke Burke. Why oh why can't I look like that after 4 pregnancies? Weight Watchers, here I come.

5. Cheryl Burke: yeah, she gained some poundage. I like her better that way. Food is good, curves are our friend. Weight Watchers, nevermind.

6. Misty May: hoo-boy. Sun damage is an ugly beast. I felt like slathering SPF on my own face that night, in the dark, indoors. At least she was wearing more clothing than her Olympic beach volleyball outfit. Sheesh.

Disclaimer: Yes, I tried to get rid of my TV. But I am a weak, human being. I can only read so much Jonathan Edwards before my brain sponataneously combusts. Even hard-core English majors need brain candy.

[What shows are you watching this Fall? Feel free to suggest or rave about your faves!]