I really dislike writing bios about myself--especially when I'm required to write it in third person POV. The temptation to be a smart-ass is practically overwhelming.

Elizabeth Esther is a dynamic writer! Speaker! And professional pit-sniffer!

I mean, have you ever read those third-person bios where the writer is trying to sound all accomplished, professional and super-duper awesome? Most of the time I think those bios come off sounding pretentious, self-aggrandizing or just full-blown narcissistic.

Elizabeth Esther lives in Southern California! One time? She had the same chauffeur as Paris Hilton!

I mean, I get it. Being a writer is sucky because there's no such thing as job security. You're back to square one every single day. The urge to hype your own stuff is pretty much irresistible. But you gotta do it while still maintaining that I'm-just-a-simple-plebe-who-worked-hard appeal. You know, make it sound like you enjoy working for free.

Elizabeth Doormat Esther writes for the sheer joy of writing! She loves giving her content away for free! Please, just ask!

A couple of years ago, an editor warned me that if I got into a habit of giving away my stuff for free,  people would start expecting free content. He was right. At first I didn't mind. In fact, I was eager. I'd write anything, anywhere for anyone.  But now that I'm a "legit" writer and get paid for what I do, I have to re-evaluate. If I give away too much, I get stretched too thin.

Elizabeth Esther is considering abandoning her writing career. Pit-sniffing pays more.

Not really. The truth is, you can't always believe the hype. I'll no sooner quit writing than I'll quit breathing. I love it too much. And here's the best part: I JUST CAME UP WITH AN AWESOME IDEA FOR A BOOK!

Elizabeth Esther's upcoming book is a brilliant mix of snarky humor and insightful critique. You'll laugh, you'll cry. You'll wonder: "WHY didn't I subscribe to her blog sooner?"

Consider this your opportunity to subscribe to my blog and say, "Yeah, I knew her back when she was a professional pit-sniffer!"