Well, my segment on Fox News went awesome but it's taking forever for the video clip to go up, soooooo, I'm moving on to a new topic (because I get bored waiting around and plus also? I need to lay off the heavy-duty topics for at least like 2 hours.). Who wants some light-hearted fluff-a-potamus?? I DO! I DO! [FOREWARNING/SIDEBAR: I've been up since 2am. If this sounds sloppy it's because I've been up since 2am. Hey, am I repeating myself?  p.s. why does everything awesome on live, national TV have to happen on East Coast time? *shakes head to clear thoughts* #NeedMoreCoffee]

Yeah, that was a hash-tag IN a blog post. Watch out, peeps. Stuff about to get all crazy up in he-ah.

So, here are a few answers to reader questions in no particular order or coherency (is coherency a word?):

1. Mint Milanos kick Oreos boo-tay. Just for the record.
2. No, I did not wear false eyelashes on TV this morning. I did, however, wear my gummy smile! So, there's that!!
3. Yes, I tried reading "Radical" again. And I stopped again. It's not you, it's me. It's not David Platt, it's that Imma Bratt. No, wait. It's just that--ok, dearest ones? dear, earnest reader who really, really wants me to like this book?--it's OK if we don't like the same books. We can all still live radically authentic lives without needing to dog-ear the same pages in the same books, yes? YES! And all the people said...AMEN!
4. I'm a hypocrite. In fact, you could call me a hypercrite since I'm pretty much a hypocrite in hyper-drive. Get it? Get it?HYPERCRITE?
5. (Wow, I need to lay off the 2am wake up time)
6. I don't know what freaks me out more: knowing someone found my site by googling "grown women breastfeeding porn" or that I'm the #8 Google result for that search. #HelpMeRhonda
7. Why does my scalp itch? Seriously. It itches non-stop. (And no, I don't have lice).
8. In other scalp-related betrayals: I'm getting gray hair. I would let them grow out except they are Psychotic and misbehaved. They are scraggly, kinked and insist on sticking straight out of my head. #CrownofHoary
9. I'm officially considering quitting the Dodgers and becoming an Angels fan instead. What happened to ye, mine Dodgers? Ye hath become a scourge and a byword! Thou hast disappointed-eth. Naught availeth!
10. What? You don't launch into Olde English when you're tired?
11. Why do I want to listen to Nicki Minaj? This must be stopped! Shut the deuce up!
12. I just answered 11 questions and not 10.
13. Because I'm good at math like that.
14. #SomebodyStopMe
15. #StoppingNow
16. (#SendCoffee)
17. (#OrANap)