When I sincerely believed I was broken/bad, it was nearly impossible for me to receive God’s grace and love. When I believed I was inherently broken, I stayed in relationships and situations and churches that caused me long-term pain because I didn’t believe I deserved better. I was desperate and needy and clung to people—even harmful people—because having an abuser love me was better than nothing.

I confused love with neediness and developed an aching need to be rescued. In a weird sort of self-sabotage, I often attached myself to people who were emotionally unavailable and incapable of giving me the love I needed.

I have to work my recovery every single day because I'm still afraid God hates me....READ MORE AT DEEPER STORY.