"Good morning, Elizabeth," said The Voice.

I froze in the middle of washing breakfast dishes.

What? Who said that? Um....yes, Lord?

Nothing.

I was wiping down the kitchen table when suddenly:

"Your friend J_____ is online and wondering if you would like to chat. What do you say?"

It was the blasted computer. The computer was talking to me!

Something was fishy here. And then I remembered The Mateo tinkering non-stop with a new web-cam and downloading Skype. He's convinced that Skype is going to change my life. It's cool and everything, but he's gone a little batty about it.

And now, he's leaving messages for me that are broadcasting at various times throughout my day via iSpeak.

I'm just waiting for "What are you making for dinner?" "Have you read to the children today?" "Did you take your Pre-natal vitamins?"

And of course, this one, which will be the dead giveaway: "Where are my keys?"

At which point I will call The Mateo and say, Ha, ha, very funny, I know it's you. Now how do I turn this dang thing off?