purging my dross.

I'm appalled by the sheer quantity of junk that's accumulated in my house/life during the past 4 years. I'm talking about stuff like 6 outdated phone books, just moldering away in a kitchen cabinet. I could have thrown those away years ago, but I didn't. Also, I found 4 library books that I'd paid for in full. I could have saved $70 if I'd found those last year.

It's not all bad. I uncovered some old writings of mine, stuff from my teen years when I was hopelessly romantic, dangerously idealistic and falling in love at least once a month. It was amusing to read. I'm glad I've grown up a little bit since then.

We found an old, Hawaiian shell necklace that belonged to Matt back when he was a wild, untamed outdoorsman. He fastened it around his neck and suddenly, I was 16 again and he was answering the door without his shirt on. Back then I might have said something crazy like: hey, wanna come to Bible Study with me? 

Even if I never move again, I'm doing this purge thing more often. You never know what treasure you'll find, what memories you'll recover, what baggage you decide to let go of. It's beautiful to realize God doesn't love me because I have: ideology, legalism, fads or long skirts to make me look spiritual.

I can get rid of all that junk and God will still love me. I can strip down to the bare elements of my broken, wounded soul and find out that I never had to prove myself, never had to be good enough, never had to try harder. All along, His grace has been sufficient.

I may even go do something really radical. Like get rid of that 55 gallon water drum I've been hanging onto since Y2K. You know, back when the world was supposed to end? Well, we're all still here.

And I'm not scared anymore.