I am not a girl. I am a woman, dammit.

If you want to "call out" sexist attitudes, it probably helps if you refrain from telling sexist jokes. Publishing a blog post that dredges up every single demeaning thought a dude has about "girls" and posting it as a satirical joke is pretty much the exact opposite way to accomplish "calling out" sexist men.

But according to Jon Acuff, degrading jokes about women help "clear away the clutter of Christianity so we can see the beauty of Christ."

The "beauty of Christ" as manifested in sexist jokes about women? Um, OK.

Call me unenlightened, but it's sorta difficult for me to find the beauty of Christ in all the disgusting, graphic details about how Christian men are "oddly attracted" to "girls with a past"?

Oh, yes, it's SUPER edifying to learn that if I wear white shorts and heels to prayer meeting I've just ramped up my scorecard in the eyes of all my Christian brothers!

I've always wanted to be "a lady on the street but a freak in the sheets!"

Oh, wait. Now I'm quoting Usher? Yeah, apparently that is EXACTLY how Christian men think. (Except Acuff wants us to know he TOTALLY doesn't approve of this! It's just all funny-ha-ha joking right? C'mon, it's SATIRE! We're calling men out!)

What's next? Being told that men calling women bitches (satirically, of course!) is ACTUALLY empowering?

Here's the thing: you don't get to play the satirical and literal card at the same time. Either it's satire or it's not.

In one breath, Acuff assures us that this was only meant to exaggerate the issue disproportionately in order to discuss it, but then he says this whole thing is actually TRUE and he's heard countless guys talk like this.

So, which is it? Disproportionate exaggeration or the literal thought processes of dudes like him and his "favorite" guest-poster, John Crist?

To be honest, I would expect this kind of trite, sexist crap on the blog of an old, wheezy patriarch---not on the blog of a guy I admire and view as my equal, as my peer.

It's just so hurtful and disappointing to know that sexist jokes are alive and well--and being defended!--among young men in modern Christianity.

Lastly, let's be really clear: I am NOT a "girl." I am a full-grown, intelligent, hard-working WOMAN and I sure as hell don't appreciate being degraded in a jokey-jokey manner in order to prove some kind of lame-ass point like: guess what? Christian men think nasty thoughts about Christian "girls," ha ha.

The ends don't justify the means.

Sexist jokes don't manifest the beauty of Christ. They blaspheme it.