Mama needed a new project so she was gonna get some chickens but....

I finished my book and collapsed on the couch with a jar of cookie butter and this thing called Pinterest. Yes, I have only JUST NOW discovered Pinterest and THANK GOD for that because my time management skills don't need any further distractions. But now that I HAVE discovered Pinterest? WATCH OUT WORLD. Or, rather: Watch out, husband. Because I haz plans. Witness: CHICKEN COOPS!

Matt is not amused. "I'm not building that," he says.

Me: "But we eat so many eggs! Who doesn't want to eat fresh eggs from their own chickens?"

Matt: "Me, that's who."

Me: "Well, I'm also thinking of planting a vegetable garden."

Matt (wearily): "You mean, you're thinking of having ME plant a vegetable garden."

Me: "Wellllll....."

Matt: "Could you find a project you're not gonna lose interest in after five minutes?"

Me: "OK!"

So, I went back to Pinterest. And started getting ALL INSPIRED by bedrooms.

NOTE: Since moving into this house 5.5 years ago, we have never lived in the Master Bedroom. We took the smallest room downstairs so the kids could be all upstairs together. The boys had the master bedroom upstairs. And then Matt's little sister lived with us for almost 2 years and she took the master. She just moved out this past weekend.

So, as I'm scrolling through Pinterest I have this BLINDING revelation: I finished a book! I've had five kids! I'm very, very proud of myself and I'm going to treat myself like the accomplished adult that I am and REMODEL THE MASTER BEDROOM!!!

Finally, at long last, for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I will decorate my own room the WAY I WANT. We always rented homes as a kid and we moved so much and I often shared rooms with other people and then I had lots of kids one after another and there wasn't time for things like decorating my bedroom so.....OMG! OMG! I am a real grown-up now!

WITNESS: MASTER BEDROOM REMODEL IDEAS!!

Apparently I think I'm Marie Antoinette.

Or Queen Elizabeth Esther, ha ha.

When I showed these ideas to Matt, he was just relieved I'd given up on the whole chicken coop idea and didn't seem to notice the RUFFLES. Plus, FRILLS. Plus, More Ruffles.

"See, honey? LOOK!" I said. "We already have this French-County-ish white bed. All we have to do is... paint all the walls, wallpaper an accent wall, get new window treatments, maybe buy a bedside table. No big, right honnneyyy?"

And Matt saw that it was good. Did I mention he's super handy? I can literally say: "Here! MAKE THIS!" And he can.

Being that I'm The Inspirer and not The To-Doer, Matt created a to-do list for me. Because otherwise, I would go flapping around a DIY store, getting all distracted with light fixtures! Carpet samples and I'm not even buying carpet! Yes, I am an ENFP and I rarely stay on-task in stores.

So, Matt kindly gave me a simple job. Find wallpaper. Here are some ideas I liked from Pinterest:

I went to Lowe's and spent an hour flipping through ginormous wallpaper books--most of the wallpaper was discontinued or discounted because APPARENTLY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TRADITIONAL WALLPAPER ANYMORE. All the more for me, mwah-ha-ha. I found this. On sale--WOOT!

 And then I had one more idea. Because one remodeling idea begets another as these THINGS ARE WONT TO DO.

SCENE: THE NEXT MORNING.

Me: "Matt? Could we maybe pull up the carpet and see if there is wood floor underneath?"

Matt: "That's more work."

Me: "Too much more work?"

Matt: Silence.

Me: "Hello?"

Matt: "I'm thinking."

Me: "Oh, right. I forgot you don't verbally process things like I do. I was about to take your silence all personally."

Matt: Silence.

Me: "Alright, you keep on thinking while I run the older kids to school, k?"

Matt: One nod of the head.

I drive the kids to school. When I get home? OLD CARPET IS ROLLED UP OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.

I run inside, pound up the stairs yelling: MATT! MATT! OMG! MATT! MATT!!!!!!! (Yes, I get excited and I get loud).

One of the twins meets in the hall. "Close your eyes!" she says. "It's a surprise!"

I close my eyes and she leads me down the hall. YOU GUYS. Under the carpet? 54 year old, original oak flooring. IN BEAUTIFUL CONDITION.

I could not believe it! Matt pulled up that carpet in twenty minutes! He stood in the corner grinning at me while the twins danced around.

"See, Mommy? It's a Ballet Studio!"

I have been smiling for three hours straight. Let them eat cake! On the bedroom floor!